Magic 101
by need-coffee
Summary: England is sick and tired of fighting with France and America, so he decides to change them with a little help from his trusty old spell book. But something’s goes wrong, teribble wrong, when he said wanted them to be nicer he diden't quite mean this nice
1. Chapter 1

England sighted, as he closed the door behind him. Yet another meeting without result. Despite Germany's and Austria's desperate attempts to bring some order, or at least get everyone to quiet down enough so that you could hear you own thoughts.

He took a chair and let his head drop down into his hands. Really they were supposed to solve world problem, not create them. If this were to continue he would just stop going. Seeing it wouldn't make a difference anyhow.

Though he was not completely innocent in the matter. But it was not his fault that France was a bloody git, with an unpleasant personality. Or that America was... well to put it nicely, a complete moron. Honestly he would like to see anyone be able to stay calm, when they were caught in-between them. Thinking about it, if it weren't for those two, they might actually get something done.

Sure Russia was creepy, but not beyond tolerable, that is, if you weren't Latvia, Estonia or Lithuania. Even Korea with his kleptomania and big brother complex was acceptable, in small doses.

No, the reason their meetings always was such a mess, was because of France and America. If those two were too stop spurting nonsense, idiotic ideas and above all, stop pestering him, the meetings would be almost twice as effective.

A small smile formed on his lips. Yeah for France and America to act like adults, nothing short of a miracle would do. Lifting himself of the chair he started to make his way into the kitchen. Only to stop mid step. No, to make France and America tolerable he wouldn't need a miracle, he would just need a little magic.


	2. Chapter 2

**Later that week**

Arthur watched the moon rise above the trees; he went over the spell in his head once more. Double checking every last detail to make sure everything was perfect. You couldn't be too carful when you were dealing with magic. One mispronounced word could make the difference between success and utter failure. And honestly, he did not want to wait another month for the stars to get into the right position again.

But everything checked out fine. The spell he wrote earlier on was perfect, all the equipment was there, and nothing was damaged or lay forgotten somewhere. Hell even the night sky was clear and mind you this is England we are talking about. It is as if even God is cheering him on.

Yes everything was perfect, tomorrow for the first time in a long time he would finally get some work done. Why had he never thought of this before, this was bloody brilliant. And then, the moon reached its peak and he started chanting.

The next morning he was woken up by the first ray of sun, and the chatter of low voices. Seem like the fairies were up early to greet him. He waved them off with his hand and went down the stair to the kitchen.

Sitting down with a cup of tea in one hand and the morning paper in the other, he paid little attention to the three glowing blobs that was pulling his sleeve. Brushing them of so that he could continue with his morning ritual. The fairies were nice, but they could get a little annoying form time to time. He would apologize when he got home. Stepping outside in the brisk morning air and getting out his car key, he could tell that today was going to be good day.

30 minutes drive later England reached his destination. Turning of the engine he made his way to the building. Spotting Spain next to the front entrance he waved his hand.

"Antonio you are here rather early today"

"Oh Arthur, you seem to be in a good mood, did something happened?"

The Spaniard smile and walked up next to him.

"Ahh well I just got this feeling that today's meeting might be better than the other ones"

"Is there something wrong with the meetings we usually have?"

Leave it to Spain to not notice how rowdy their gatherings were. Well not care was probably the correct term. But he had to admit that Antonio's easygoing attitude had a calming effect on him. Walking together in a comfortable silence, England failed to notice the looks he was getting, nor did he hear the whispers behind his back. Reaching the end of the corridor they came to a stop.

There hidden behind large wooden doors he could hear arguing voices, and among them were America and France. No wait that was not right. Everybody was supposed to sit quietly and go over their notes, or doing whatever they were doing before meetings.

He must be hearing things, yes that was it. After silencing that little voice in the back of his mind that were screaming "get the hell out of here as fast as physically possible", he felt reinsured. Taking a deep breath, which earn him a curious glance from Spain he opened the doors.

It was as if time stood still for a second, just too suddenly come crashing back. The meeting room was like a war zone.

Papers flying everywhere, North Italy standing crying in a corner, Japan trying to calm him down while Germany was roaring orders on top of his lungs.

Switzerland had pulled out a gun (England wondered how he got it, considering that weapons' were strictly forbidden). And was now arguing with Austria over something. With Prussia cheering them on, despite the fact that Hungary was choking him.

The three Baltic nations plus Finland was trying to hide them self behind Poland and Sweden, who were arguing with Russia about their living arrangement. Turkey and Greece were one word away from a fistfight. And China was trying to run away from Belarus and Korea at the same time. In the middle of this stood America and France obviously the cause of everything. Fighting over something England could not hear, and at the moment did not care about either.

And then the door slammed shut behind him and Spain, bringing everyone's attention to them. Not a second later he was pounced by Alfred and Francis, who were both still screaming and arguing, just to turn to him and ask.

"Arthur which one of us do you love the most?"

Not waiting for an answer, they both started to pull at him at the same time.

He had been wrong in his assumption this morning. Today was not going to be a good day. It was going to be the same torture as usual. Hear the seams in his jacket burst after an extra hard tug from America he decided. No, today was going to be a whole new level of it.


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, thank you all for the lovely reviews; it makes me feel all giddy inside. Seriously I am jumping up and down every time I see that I have a new one. My little brother thought I'd gone crazy or something. At the moment the UsxUk pairings in the lead, so keep voting if you want FrxUk. And also I'm thinking about writing a one shot for the pairing that loses. That way everyone will be happy, except for poor Iggy. Oh and if you see an error please tell me so that I learn to stop abusing the English language.

Something had gone wrong, terribly wrong. And how did Arthur know this? Well for starters, if his spell had worked out like it was suppose to, he would not be hiding in a closet, desperately trying to find a way to escape the wandering hands of France, and the loud proclamation of love from America. How he ever got out from the meeting room was a mystery beyond him.

Now all he had to do was get down to his car, and go back home to fix this damn mess. Then all would be back to normal. The same old arguments and headaches. Trying to strangle each other and see who could come up with the best insults. That was the good old days, and wait….

Thinking about it, maybe this wasn't that bad. Sure it was annoying, but compare to the other option it was clearly an improvement. Yeah he would just have to adjust himself to this. And he really should get back to the meeting now. Heaving himself of the floor he moved over to the door, stopping for a second to look himself in the mirror that was hanging on the wall. What he saw made him choke.

On the side of his neck was a bunch of small red marks, he recognized as hickeys.

After getting over the initial shock, he decided that the meeting wasn't that important anyway. He could skip it and go right back home and try to and figure out away to break this damn curse. Now the problem was to get out of the building, without getting notice by the two very lovesick countries. How hard could it be? He was the great British Empire after all, nothing was impossible for him.

Slowly opening the door to peek outside, checking if the cost was clear. Looking to the left all he could see was an empty corridor, the other side seemed okay too. Closing the door carefully so that it's wouldn't make a noise he started to make his way down the hall. So far so good, now all he had to do was get out to the parking lot and drive as fast as his car would let him, all the way back home. Yes this was going to work.

Hearing footsteps behind him he looked over his shoulder and saw something that made his heart freeze. Coming his way was a very happy Frenchman, and if there was something he had learned over all the year he had known him. If Francis was happy that meant he was in trouble.

So he did the first thing that came to mind. He ran.

Not daring to look back to see if the other one got closer. Sprinting over the cement of the parking lot, he got up his car keys and started to fumble with the lock. Turning his head he saw that France was just a couple of meters behind him, he heard the lock click. Flinging the door open, throwing himself inside, shutting the door behind him, he let out a shaky breath.

Only to feel someone trying to pry the door open from the outside. Seeing France face with "that look" on his face, brought back memories from the time he asked him to marry him.

Even though he would deny this if anyone ever were stupid enough to bring it up, he screamed like a little girl and hit the gas.

Wheels screeching, he slide out from his parking spot as fast as he could. Safely out on the road, he reminded himself not to make fun of the heroines in America's horror movies that were constantly running and screaming. He would never have imagined that it could be this terrifying to be the hunted by a crazy person.

Seeing his house he slowed down. Carefully getting out of the car, looking around just to make sure he wasn't followed or something. Closing the front door behind his back he sunk down onto the floor. Finally he was safe. But what could have possibly gone wrong.

He was so sure that he had done everything right, down to the smallest detail. Going over everything that had happened from last night, till the time when he first saw America and France today, he tried to find even the slightest sign of abnormality.

Of course, how could he have missed it, the fairies. They were acting kind of strange today and he had just brushed them off. Oh this was bad, the fairies had quite a temper, and he was rude towards them. Hopefully they would be kind enough to forgive him, after all this was not a little problem he had caused.

Like they knew he was thinking of them (which they probably did, don't underestimate magic creatures) the once from this morning appeared. Three faint glowing blobs of pink were hovering about 40 centimeters from his head, looking a little too smug for Arthurs liking. Giving them an apologetic smile he worked up the courage to talk to them.

"I'm sorry about this morning, I was just a little tired, and I didn't mean to be rude."

Hearing what sounded like a snort he could tell that they did not believe him. Giving a loud sight, yes he was going to pay dearly for being impolite. Sometimes he wished that he could be just a little more humble. Feeling a light tug at his sleeve he looked up to see three tiny concerned looking faces staring down at him.

The fairies, they had actually forgiven him just like that. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted of his shoulder. Too bad that there was still about a ton left. Still tugging on him they started to chatter in low voices, apparently wanting him to follow them. Standing up he let them lead him down the stairs towards his cellar. The place where most of the rituals took place. And also were he stored his magic equipment.

Did they actually know of a way to fix this? Opening the large wooden door he turned on the light. Leading him past a large bookshelf, while pointing towards another one in the corner. He felt his heart lighten up a bit, so they might actually know a way to get him out of this mess. Suddenly coming to a stop the three chattering spots of pink flew up to a big book trying to pull it out.

Reaching over to take it out himself. He placed it on a table near the window. Yes he was right, this was the spell book in he had used the last time. And there, on one of the pages was the spell he had wrote to get America and France to stop bothering him. Finding a pen he crossed over the word spell and replaced it with curse.

There, now the horror if this would never have to be relieved by him or anyone else. He started to flip through the book to see if he could find anything helpful.

Looking over his shoulder to make sure that the fairies didn't try to lift something else that was four times their weight. They were busy trying to bring the next book to him, this one much smaller and lighter. It didn't look like a spell book; in fact it looked like a calendar.

They were searching for something, and then they apparently found it by judging from their happy chatter. Curious he looked over from his current task, the page that was up was the one from yesterday.

Moving over from the calendar they tried to pull his hand away from the book he was working on, willingly he let them fall to his side. He sat back and watched them work. After a couple of minutes they stop turning pages. Looking over to see what they found.

It was a chart of planets and their meaning. With a confused look on his face he was about to ask what this had to do with anything. The three blobs pointed to the image of Venus, apparently wanting him to read.

"Venus the planet of love, known as the evening star in some cultures. It tells us about the needs of our heart. It is who and what we love. The most powerful planet in the horoscope, the one that rules the strongest magical force, love. When it stands in zenith with the moon all your spells will reflect the desires that comes from the hearth one the one you cast it. Meaning you can never curse or harm anyone during this time. Your spell will reflect the nature of the planet and in this case it is love."

He lifted his head, looking at the fairies. Okay sure he must admit that this was relevant, he just didn't see the connection. Then suddenly the calendar came floating and was promptly dropped on the bigger book. Studding it he gave a horrified gasp.

Last night Venus had been in perfect line with the moon. Looking at the fairies for some sort of help he could have swore he heard them giggle. Apparently they thought that his problem were amusing. Sensing his anger they stopped and pointed to another planet

"Saturn is the planet of structure and order. It defines limits, necessity. Saturn helps us face reality on its own terms! You could call it the voice of reality. In case one of your spell have gone wrong you just have to wait for it to get into zenith with the moon and it should undo the effects."

Flipping through the calendar too see when the next time Saturn was going to line up behind the moon. It was one week from today, all he had to do was survive one week and then he would be safe.

Ha one week was nothing. He was the great British Empire he could survive anything. Then the images of France earlier on this morning came back to him. Gulping slightly, he would have to survive one week of that. Oh hell, he was screwed, and he knew it.

No pun intended on the last part, my innocent mind didn't pick this up until I actually was about to post it and I'm too lazy to fix it. And also "that face" is creepy as hell. Whenever he has it someone is going to get molested. Seriously for those who have read the comics and not just seen the show knows exactly how horrifying it is. The Christmas Bloodbath is just one example. I feel for those poor nations. And woot I actually did some researched on the planets, part of their description is cop paste.


	4. Chapter 4

At the moment the score is: FrxUk 3, and UsxUk 5, so keep voting. But don't worry, I promise that Iggy will be harassed by both of them.

Oh this was bad, really bad. He had to wait another week to be able to reverse the effects. And seeing how both France and America, tended to get pretty aggressive when it came to stuff they wanted. England realized that this wasn't going to be easy.

Dragging his feet up the stairs he felt like he was on the way towards his own execution. And he had all the right in the world to feel miserable.

The more objective and honest part of him said that he deserved this. After all he was the one who tried to alter them, to something they were not. He should know better than to mix with complicated stuff like emotions and such.

Love, it was not his area of expertise, that was France thing. Speaking of which, he should probably hire a locksmith. Just to make sure he didn't get any unwanted guest. And he could use a moat filled with sharks around his house. No even better, he could move away to a remote island. Build a fortress surrounding it whit cannons and nukes'. He was starting to regret ever giving up Sealand.

Well nothing for it first he would need to pack, and then get one the first available plane out of here. Reaching the hallway, he decided that he would get something to eat first. The meeting should not end this early, so he would have plenty of time to get to the airport.

Sitting down with a scone, some jam and a cup of tea he started to relax. The fairies were there as well. Trying to comfort him in their own way.

He felt grateful towards them, even though they seemed to enjoy the situation he had put himself in. Well he couldn't blame them. He was sure that he would find this amusing to, if it was happening towards someone else.

Chewing thoughtfully on the bread, he wondered where he could go. It had to be to someone who had no friendly connection towards either France or America. It also had to be remote and if possible loaded with guns.

Coming to a realization, Switzerland. Yes that was the answer. Now all he had to do was convince Vash to let him stay at his place for a week. Easier said than done. Sure he harbored no friendly feelings towards France or America. But on the other hand he didn't like Arthur either, and he always claimed to be neutral.

But this wasn't a war, so maybe he would be kind enough to overlook that small part. And it was no secret that the he was a cheapskate. Maybe if he offers to pay for the food during the week he could stay. It was worth a shot. Slowly lifting the mug to his lips he froze.

Did he just hear something, it sounded like footsteps. Were someone was trying to sneak in? Putting the tea down, he grabbed whatever kitchen utensil he could get his hands on. Quietly making his way out of the room. Looking around and checking behind every corner without finding anything, except for a small gnome he decided that this whole ordeal was making him paranoid.

There was nothing to be afraid of; he would hear if someone was trying to get inside. After all he did locked the door behind him when he got home, didn't he? Just to be on the safe side he went towards it, pushing down the handle. The door opened up with a small creek.

Gulping slightly, okay so he didn't lock the door, but that was no problem, it wasn't like there was anyone in the house at the moment, and he had just made sure of that. Closing it again he locked it, hearing a soft click. But he did not feel safe. In fact he felt worse than he did a second ago.

Like something bad would happened if he turned around. Seeing a shadow creep up behind him he took a firmer grip on whatever he was holding. Feeling stupid for not checking what it was. For all he know his last self-defense could be a spatula.

But hey, if China could defeat Germany and Japan with a wok, he could probably fight of whoever would be stupid enough, to enter his house without his consent.

Turning his head slowly, he got a glimpse of something big and brown. And then he was crushed in a gigantic hug. Apparently there was someone stupid enough to break in to his house. How could he have forgotten him, after all he was the one who raised him.

"Alfred how did you get in here?"

"The door was unlocked, so I just walked in"

"Where did you pick up suck bad habits? I taught you better, and besides, I checked the entire house and you weren't anywhere to be found".

"You always forget to check behind the kitchen door"

Cursing himself for forgetting such an obvious place, he was brought out of his thought when he felt his ribcage crack. Managing to get out an "ouff". America, obviously having one of his brighter moments, released the smaller man, checking if he was okay.

"Hey Artie you okay there"

"Of course I'm not, you break into my home, and then you try to crush me. You are lucky I didn't kill you with this"

Frenetically yelling and waving, what turned out to be a rolling-pin in Americas face.

Hearing a muffled laugh from the other one, only succeeded to increase his anger. He was the British Empire, he was not something you abused then laughed at, (Unless you are a fan girl).

"What the hell is so funny?"

Holding up his hands to defend himself from the other man.

"Well just seeing that you are in a laced apron, waiving around a rolling-pin, sort of makes you look like an upset housewife. I just thought it was cute that's all"

Looking down at himself, Arthur saw that indeed Alfred was right; he was wearing an apron, with laces. Feeling his cheeks heat up by the realization, and the compliment he received. He decided that now would be a good time to throw the rolling-pin at the other.

Feeling the kitchen utensil collide with his head America fell down onto the floor. Seizing the moment Arthur jumped up grabbing a more appropriate weapon, his shoehorn this time. Standing prepared for a life and death battle he realized that America wasn't moving.

Maybe he had thrown it a little too hard. Inching his was closer to the other; he dropped onto his knees to make sure Alfred was all right. Shaking him lightly to see if he would wake up, but in wane. Bending his head down, placing his ear next to the others mouth, to check for breathing, there was none. Starting to panic he felt around for a pulls on the Alfred's wrist.

Then suddenly two large hands grasped his face, pulling him down in to a kiss. Gasping, too much in shock to actually do something, he just blinked, feeling America's lips on his own. Taking the opportunity, Alfred slipped his tongue into the others mouth. But before Arthur could bite down he heard a clicking noise outside to the door. Like someone was trying to pick the lock.

And before he knew it he was pulled away by slender arms. Still in a daze, he didn't really understand what was going on. All he could tell, was that there were two people arguing in a rapped pace, one with a French accent. Looking up at his…. well more likely Americas savior he noticed two things.

One, this person was the reason he had screamed like a little girl this morning. And two, he was naked.

Slowly his mind processed the discoveries', coming up with the conclusions. He was now in the arms of a very smitten and very naked Frenchman.

Taking the shoehorn he whacked it across France head and was released out of his grasp.

"Bloody hell, what do you two think that you are doing?"

The good news his voice was back, the bad news, he remembered why he lost it in the first place. Feeling his cheeks flame up he closed his eyes and took a shaky breath trying to calm down.

Big mistake. In no time he was caught in a new hug, this time by France.

"_A __ma petite_ _Angleterre_, how I have longed to see you. I only manage to catch a glimpse of you this morning"

Thanking whatever god who ensured that that was all that happened on the parking lot, he tried to pry the damn frog of him. Finally free again, thanks to the shoehorn, France would just have to live with another bump on the head. Backing slowly towards the door, in case he needed an escape route if they decided to attack him again.

But at the moment he didn't think they would bother. They were too busy arguing over who was most suited to take care of him. A small part of him was annoyed, why did they automatically assumed that he was the wife; he wasn't Finland for god's sake.

Quickly silencing that voice, he didn't want that sort of relationship with any of them. He decides that maybe it was best to try and come clean about the whole messed up spell thing. Then maybe they would try to distance themselves from him. Trying to hold themselves back from doing stupid things. Things that would most likely embarrass them when the week was up.

Clearing his throat trying to alert them of his presence. It didn't work, repeating it again only this time loader. They were still too busy to fight over his nonexistent affection, to realise he was trying to get their attention. A vein popped up on his forehead. Wondering if maybe it wasn't better to just get out and go to stay a Vash place for the rest of the week. Finally having enough of their moronic chatter.

"**Will you two be so kind and shut the hell up!**"

Obviously that did the trick.

"Like I was trying to say, could you move in to the kitchen, so that I can explain the situation that we are in"

Nothing

"**That means move it!**"

Suddenly there was some rustling of cloths (obviously Americas). They started to walk in the direction of his kitchen.

Turning around to go up the stairs towards his bedroom first, he could feel two pair of eyes in his back. Seeing France about to open his mouth to say something, probably inappropriate or perverted, he decided to speak first.

"No you bloody wine bastard. I'm just going up to fetch you some damn cloth, If I'm goanna fill you in on the situation, I would like you to be dressed this time. "

Seeing Alfred's questioning face, over the fact that there had been other times, when Francis and Arthur had have conversation, while he was naked.

France just turned away with a smirk on his lips, heading towards the kitchen, America following close behind.

Taking the shoehorn with him for safety, he half expected to get jumped when he was up there. But nothing happen, not that he was disappointed mind you.

Returning down the stairs with a clean pair of pants and a shirt he opened the kitchen door. Seeing Alfred and Francis sitting on the opposite sides of the table glaring daggers at each other.

Sighting he dumped the cloths on France lap, and turned away to give him some privacy. Only to realise that the Frenchman obviously didn't care.

After all he had shown up on his doorstep without any cloths. Not to mention that every damn Christmas and Aprils fool, he ran around naked. With the goal of trying to molest as many nations as possible. Hearing a cough from the Frenchman he took a seat.

"Okay for starters I would like to be able to speak without getting interrupted, okay?"

Seeing the two others nod he continued.

"Well at the moment you two are experiencing some, um unusual feelings correct?

Two pair of blank eyes looked into his. They didn't get it.

"Unusual feelings towards me"

He corrected.

Now this got a reaction. Both of them jumped up to hug him. France whispering romantic nonsense in his ear, and America trying to convince him, that he was good enough for a hero. Feeling that tiny vein pop again he could tell that he would lose it at any second. And then France hand travelled a little too far up his leg for his liking. That's where he draws the line.

Standing up and slamming his hands down on the table.

"Okay that's enough, the only reason why you two are acting this way is because of a damn spell!"

He realised that he had knocked over his chair. Trying to avoid Francis hands, which had been extremely close to a, rather private area.

Lifting up the chair the he sat down again. Pushing the dumbfounded nations down in their own. Suddenly France decided to speak up

"So what you mean to say is that you cast a spell on me?"

Relieved that at least one of them was getting the point he nodded eagerly

"And this spell backfired _non_?"

Yes, yes finally he was getting it.

"Ahh _chéri_ if you wanted to get my attention you did not need to cast a spell. I have loved you since the first time I saw you. And now look because of that it backfired. And Alfred now believes that he is in love with you as well."

His head hit the table, Arthur decided that he was wrong assuming that America was the stupid one. And that now would a good time to interrupt France monolog about how love will conquer all.

"No you git, what I mean to say is that since we never got anything done at the meetings because all you two do is bothering me. I decided to change you a bit with some magic. But I forgot to check the planets positions. So I ended up casting a love spell instead. That's why you two are acting like morons. Now all we have to do is wait for a week, and then I can reverse the effects. And then you two can go back to being the annoying idiots you always are."

It was dead silent for a while; you could probably hear a needle fall. And then it was Americas turn to speak up.

"I don't believe you. Magic isn't real. And even if it were, it wouldn't work on a hero. If I say I love you, then I say it because it's true. Not because of your weird hobbies."

Trying to explain that magic was real, and it did work on heroes, and America wasn't a hero, proved to be a little too hard. So before he could get the words out of his mouth, France beat him to it. Shouting insults at then they started to argue again, of who was best suited for him. Or who would make the best groom.

Feeling drain on his strength he left the room, heading in the direction of the nearest bar. Deciding that the first thing tomorrow morning, he was to going to phone Switzerland, and ask him if he could stay at his house for a week.


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, I decided that I would have Vash in this fic as well, I just love him. At the moment the score is FrxUk: 3 and UsxUk: 10. So keep voting for your favorites.

The pub had dim light, and very few and, not so sociable guests. But that didn't bother him. He liked the tranquility. Who wouldn't, after having to go through such a day. Downing his sixth, or was it seventh glass of whisky. He wondered if it was safe going home yet.

Remembering the state his house was in when he left, he decided that he could stay for another shot. The barkeeper refilled his glass with an understanding look.

"Problem with the missis?"

Looking up from his treat, he tried to register what the man just said. When it finally hit him he started to laugh uncontrollably. Okay maybe he had, had a little too much to drink. Slurring out what were suppose to be

"Something along the line".

But came out as something completely different that would best be described as a long grunt followed by two short snorts. The bartender seemed to understand anyway. He probably had experience in the art of speaking to drunken people.

Nodding his head slightly he informed him that they were closing in an hour.

"Oh, and that one is on the house"

He felt a little put down by the fact, that he could only escape reality for another hour. But happy that he didn't have to pay for the last drink. Although since that man paid taxes to him, he was just returning the money back to him. So he was technically cheating the other on his money. Or was it the other way around?

Getting caught up in his "philosophic" train of thoughts he failed to notice the door to the pub was flung open, by two weary desperate looking men.

"Arthur, is this were you have been. For the love of god, do you have any idea how worried I was? What if you had been abducted by some pervert?"

"_Mon chér _the buffoon is right. What would I have done, if my cute little _amoureux_ had been taken away from me?"

Looking up at the two newcomers from the floor, how did he get down there anyway? He decided that they were just a drunken hallucination. Sitting up at his chair again he started to down the drink.

Not being put off, by being ignored by their "damsel in distress". France and America decided to "rescue" him, from whatever danger could be lurking at the bar.

Suddenly being hauled up, and thrown over the shoulders by Alfred, (after he shoved France into a table first), Arthur realized that maybe, this wasn't just images conjured up by his drunk mind. He was just about to ask, what the hell the other was doing, when they booth toppled down on the floor. France had decided to get revenge, and knee kicked Alfred.

Feeling himself being lift up again, only this time cradled against a warm chest. Not slung over the shoulder like a bag of potatoes. Arthur looked up to see the Frenchman's face, way too close to his for his own liking. And it steadily came closer.

Like a deer caught in the headlights, he was terrified but he couldn't move. And then strong hands were pulling his head back, he thought that his neck were going to snap.

"Just what the hell do you think you are doing you bastard?"

"Oh, you use such vulgar language Alfred. And here I was merely showing you the proper way to carry your lover"

"Arthur is not your lover, so let him go"

"Ahh but he is not your lover either, so you don't really have a right to tell me that in this case."

"**None on you are my bloody lover so can you both let go and get the hell away from me!"**

He was promptly dropped on his ass. England was a mean drunk, how could they ever have forgotten that. Arthur on the other hand, wondered if maybe that spell had caused some brain damage. There was a limit to how stubborn you could be.

Seeing the look he got from the bartender, he understood that it was time to go. Great, he liked this bar, and now he wouldn't be able to come down here anymore. Standing up on wobbly legs, he fumbled with his wallet. Before he could even get it open, two hands slammed down a 100 ₤ bill on the counter. With united voice screaming.

"**I'm paying for his drinks!"**

Arthur doubted that anyone in this block was sleeping anymore. America and France tried to push their money on the bartender, which only resulted that he got a hell of a tip tonight.

So maybe England could come here again. That much money most surely made up for the embarrassing display earlier on. Trying to get out as fast as possible, and avoid getting noticed by the others. Saving himself from another humiliating scene. He made his way to the door, only to collide with a chair, and fall on his ass again.

Okay he admitted it; he had had way too much to drink tonight.

Out of nowhere, two pair of arms was pulling him up. And those two pair of arms was also trying to tugging him closer to the owner's chest. Having a flashback from this morning he decided to stop them before they could destroy another of his jackets.

"**Will you stop pulling at me, or do I need to whack you over the head again!"**

Okay his voice was still a little to load. But apparently it was working.

Slowly they were letting him go. Glancing at each other just to make sure that once England was released the other one wouldn't try anything. Finally, once again he tried to move out of the bar. This time he managed to do so without colliding with anything.

Feeling the night air on his skin he sighted in relief. Now he would just have to go home, and then day number one of this hell would be over. Arthur started to move in the direction of his house, feeling the cold air sobering him up a bit. Safely inside his home, he tried to close the door behind him. Only to notice it came to a stop about half way.

That's odd, trying again; he put some more strength in to it. Only to hear a whine.

Since when could his door make such a noise? Turning around he saw that there was a foot between the door and the wall. A foot belonging to America.

Oh how could he have forgotten those two, did they actually follow him home? Not waiting for Arthur to say anything. Alfred pushed the door open and stomped inside, France following behind.

All three of them stood in the hallway, no one moving. Okay so far so good. As long as it remained quiet, he could processes what was happening. But he should have known that the silence wouldn't last, America was not known for his patience.

"Well aren't you going to invite us in?"

"I don't see what good that would do, seeing that you both already did that yourself"

Oh, he wasn't even aware that his mouth was moving until it was too late. Yeah he had definitely had too much to drink tonight. France, as sly as ever picked up the situation rather quickly. Moving closer, trapping Arthur in a corner. Making the Englishman blush at the proximity between the two. Really what had gotten into him tonight?

Remembering all those x glasses of whisky he quickly figured out the answer.

"Or say, could it be, that you forgot we were following you_ Angleterre_?"

Gulpingslightly, he could feel Francis hot breath on his ear.

"You know, it is rude not to give something back to the person paying for your drinks. Wouldn't you agree_ Mon chér_?"

Nodding his head he leaned in to the others touch. Looking closely at France face, he didn't remember that he was this attractive. How could he have thought of him as terrifying this morning? He was snapped out of his thoughts, when he felt Francis teeth his earlobe.

"A kiss, wouldn't that be the appropriate way to thank someone,_ non_?"

Feeling heath pool down to his stomach, he locked eyes with the Frenchman. Feeling the others lips barley gracing his own; just to have them suddenly removed by force.

Behind them stood a very flustered and very pissed of America. Oh how could he have forgotten that he was there? France, obviously angry to have lost his chance. Decided to use some of his more, colorful language on America. Alfred not being one to back down from a fight, let himself get dragged in to the argument.

Arthur on the other hand wondered what the hell just happened. He had been so close to kiss the wine bastard. And this time he had wanted it. No that was just the alcohol talking. There was no way in hell; he was having those sort of feelings towards France.

It's just like the story about the princesses with the golden ball. After kissing the frog, he would turn out to be a handsome price. In this case, if you kissed the prince he would turn out to be a frog.

Wondering if he also had been affected by the spell, and did he just compare himself to a princess? Oh this wasn't good. He needed to get out of here as soon as possible. Moving towards the back door, deciding that he wouldn't call Vash in the morning. There were just too many things that could go wrong before then. He would just go there right now; his slightly intoxicated brain told him that everybody loved a surprise visit. And he was sure that the Swiss was no exception.

Translation: amoureux = sweetheart, or at least it's supposed to.

Okay, so I know that this is a bit short. But at the moment, I'm working as a balloon animal making princess, at the library. They were short of people, and I volunteered to keep the children busy. While their parents were out shopping, or doing whatever. So right now, I'm writing whenever I have some free time. I will update tomorrow. And I promise that the next chapter will be longer and also involving a slightly pissed of Vash.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys, I'm so sorry for not keeping my word and updating so late. But yesterday I remembered that the new episode was out. So after watching it I sort of got sidetracked, I have now spent an entire day without doing anything productive. Just drawing fanarts and plotting horrible crackfics. I was sort of tempted to ignore all your votes and let Iggy and Vash end up together, don't worry though it won't happen. Oh and at the moment UsxUk is in the lead, but keep voting. And one more thing, if you like Hetalia you just have to check out this girls art gallery on DA, seriously I laugh every time she uploads a new comic: .com/gallery/#Scandinavia-and-the-World

Standing outside Vash front door, England wasn't so sure that this was such a good idea anymore. How could he ever have thought that Switzerland was going to be happy to receive a surprise visit? Not to mention it was 5am in the morning. But the other option was to return home.

So he could either wake up the trigger happy nation, or go back to a lovesick America and France. At the mention of the last one his face heated up. He would take his chances here, at least now he would only have one nut job to deal with.

And besides Lichtenstein was here as well. Everybody knew that the only person who Switzerland ever showed his soft side to was her. And if he somehow managed to persuade her to let him stay, Vash wouldn't be able to say no. Of course he would have to watch his back whenever she wasn't in the room.

But really that man could never do anything that would upset his sister. Now that he thought about it, Vash and he was somewhat similar, he remembered the days when he used to visit America. The young nation who were everything to him. How they would just lie on the ground and stargaze, or when he was introduced to America's animal friends. Sure they couldn't too much; they weren't magical like his own. But they had their charm. Smiling fondly, yes America had been the only one who he had allowed to see that side of him.

Suddenly hearing a loud bang and feeling a bullet graze his cheek he decided that Vash and he was nothing alike. Looking up he saw a very pissed Swizz wearing a pink pajamas with frills on it?

He didn't have time to reflect further on what would seemed like excellent blackmail material, because the other pointed the gun towards him this time. Knowing that Vash wouldn't miss, he decided to state his reason for being there.

"Wait don't shoot I'm here to talk business with you"

Removing his finger from the trigger but not lowering the gun, with a suspicious frown on his face.

"You have business with me at 5am?"

He was as rude as allays, feeling that tiny vane on his forehead pop, but not letting his anger get the better of him, he was smarter than that. Giving a sheepish smile and a shrug on his shoulders.

"Ahh well I forgot about the time difference I guess, I was in kind of a hurry"

Well that wasn't a complete lie, after all he when his senses finally caught up with him, and he realized that he kissed the frog, the second thing he had done was to get on the next flight heading towards the unfriendly nation.

The first thing had been to wash his mouth with soap, while cursing the three giggling fairies that somehow always seemed to be percent when something bad were happening to him. A new bullet flew by him; apparently he had been spacing out and missed what the other had said.

"I am sorry I didn't quite get that, could you please repeat it?"

"I said that the time difference is only one hour and the flight only takes 1and a half hour, meaning that you decided to leave for business around 2 am."

Wondering to himself why the other nation knew the exact time it took to fly between them. For a horrifying second he thought that Vash might also be under the spell. A third bullet that went past his head confirmed he was not.

"Ahh well yes, I suppose it's kind of early, but this came out of the blue and it's very important. I am terribly sorry for disturbing you at this hour but I really most insist on speaking to you."

And the damn frog said that he had no manners. And oh no do not think about him, doing so would only make him remember what happened earlier. Something he had used two lemon soaps to try and forget.

Snapping himself out of his thoughts, it was not good to space out with a gun pointed at you. And he did not think he would get another warning shot. Looking up, he noticed that the spot where Vash had stood a couple of moments before was empty.

Maybe he had gone back to bed, after all that is what he had done, if some nation he didn't know that well suddenly showed up at his doorstep this early in the morning. To his surprise the front door was opened by a very grumpy looking Swiss. Retaining his urge to laugh at the silly pajamas the other was wearing he step inside his house. It was a nice one too, he noticed. Decorated with old paintings and other curios items. Following the other to what he assumed to be some sort of office.

Excusing himself Switzerland left him in a small room filled with documents. From the looks of it he had been right this seemed to be the office.

Sitting down in a chair he went over a monologue he had practiced on the plane here. He needed the other one to take him in; as long as he stayed here he would be safe. And if he was refused he would have to go to his backup plan. Although he wasn't that eager to do that.

On the way here he had wondered what he would do if the other refused to help him out. It was literally, painfully obvious, (his mouth acted after scrubbing it so hard) that he couldn't stay at home. So he had to find somewhere to hide.

And since there was only on other country he could think of, that Alfred and Francis would try to avoid. His last shot was Russia, who did fill most of his criteria's.

It was sort of isolated and had no really friendly connections to America and France. But he knew that if he stayed on week with Ivan, he might go crazy. Not to mention the price he would have to pay for it. Plus just remembering that childlike face with the cruel smile, he wasn't so sure that he was any safer there than he was with the ones he was hiding from.

Hearing the door open behind him he found the other nation dressed in his usually uniform. Standing up he tried to look apologetic for creating trouble for the man.

Vash not the one to bet around the bush quickly got down to the point.

"So what is this business you wish to discuss England? It has to be very important to not be able to wait until even the sun got up."

Remembering to keep his calm, either he managed to get Vash to let him stay, or he might end up "becoming one with Russia". Something he would gladly give his left leg for.

"Well you see it is not so much as the countries business as my own."

If looks could kill he would have been dead by now.

"What exactly do you mean that it's not the business of our countries? You wake me this early it better be important or else I swear I"

Interrupting him, therefore efficiently stopping the others death threats.

"Oh no, it is very important; otherwise I wouldn't have come here"

Maybe that was saying a little too much, he hoped he did not offend the other one. Fortunately it seemed that Vash did not take his statement as insulting.

"Explain"

So Arthur gave him the whole story, how he accidently had cast a love spell, instead of a "please let the two jackasses that keeps disturbing me be nicer spell." How both America and France had barged into his house and well. Trailing off feeling his cheeks get hotter and glancing down in a corner. But it seemed like the other one understood what had happened.

"I was sort of hoping that you would let me stay here until I can undo the effects. It will be six days before then."

Seeing the look on Switzerland's face, he understood that he needed something to persuade him with, otherwise he would have to spend the next six days with a man who is a substitute for the devil*.

"Of course I am willing to pay for all the expenses during my stay, and those of my hosts."

It seemed like that had done the trick. Closing his moth again Vash leaned back in his chair to think over the offer. Going along with the Britton's proposal, all he had to do was let Arthur stay at his house for six days, and keep his mouth shut about his whereabouts.

Everybody knew that he did not like trespassers so France and America would probably just talk to him during meetings. And for this he would not have any expenses for six days. Looking up at the other one, he did seem kind of desperate. It all sounded very tempting, but there was still a part of him that hesitated, but he couldn't figure out why.

Something was not right, it was not the Englishman. It would be stupid to try and fool him and Arthur was no idiot. He proved that by keeping his temper in check and not speaking what Vash knew was on his mind. Opening his eyes he stood up offering his hand to the other man.

"Keep up your end of the barging and we have a deal."

Letting out a breath he did not know he had been holding Arthur took the others hand shaking and for the first time giving him an honest smile.

"Don't worry I will. And I don't think there will be any trouble, France and America knows better than to trespass on your land."

"Yes well if you excuse me I will be going to try and get some sleep now. You can have the room down the hall."

Opening the door to the office they both gave each other a glance before going off to try and get some sleep. Arthur with a feeling of relief, and Vash trying to shake of the feeling of impendent doom.

*Well we all know the episode when Iggy tried to summon the devil and ended up with Russia. And then there was Busby's chair. Do you really need more proof that he is the devil himself.

So yeah the next six chapters will each cover one day. Oh I feel so sorry for Iggy, because at the moment I am sleep deprived and on my third cup of coffee. The terror, there is so many ways I can make him suffer, I just can't decide where to start. I will update the first thing tomorrow morning so look forward to it.


	7. Chapter 7

Hi I know I said that the next chapters will be representing one day each, but I lied. I really tried to do it, but my evil plotting mind didn't let me. But don't worry I will try to keep my word in the next six chapters. And now for something completely different, crack comic I found today when I didn't feel like doing anything productive. Contains Germania with a beer helmet, a drunken Germany, and nosebleeds from both Hungary and Japan. .com/art/Hetalia-Fight-For-Peace-137737631. Fight for the damn peace.

Waking up to the sound of chirping birds, England felt his body relax. He was quite satisfied with himself. Not only had he managed to persuade Switzerland into letting him stay. But for a fairly cheap price as well.

He had half expected that he would be lying in a hospital, looking like a colander right now. Maybe had been too fast to judge the other nation character. Rolling over onto his back, he laid looking up in the ceiling. Yes this wasn't so bad at all. He would just treat it like a vacation. God knows he needed one anyway.

Hearing the door creek open, he lazily lifted his head from the pillow to see who it was. Then a lot of things followed in a rapped pace. Something hit the ground, shattering into thousands of tiny little pieces, followed by the scream of a young woman. Standing in the doorway covering her eyes while screaming bloody murder was Liechtenstein. Looking down, he saw the reason for such a reaction (you guys already know right :p).

He was completely naked. Vaguely remembering being too exhausted to find something to wear to bed last night. He had decided not to worry about such petty manners and promptly feel asleep in his birthday suit. Thinking back on it, it was probably not the brightest idea he have had, although it seemed like it at the movement.

And then for the second time that day he had a gun amid at him. Vash after hearing his sister screams must have rushed to her rescue. Looking between the naked Englishman and the trembling girl he seemed to find a reason behind his little sister's condition. Too bad it was the wrong one.

Seeing his life flash before his eyes, Arthur regretted not giving Denmark and Sweden a piece of his mind. For all those times they plundered his house when they were kids. But his visions of squishing those damned Vikings under his foot were replaced with an innocent looking face.

A boy with golden hair and big blue eyes. Eyes that would later be covered by glasses he had won from Mexico a long time ago. He remembered how proud he had been when he had showed them to him.

Suddenly his head was filled with imagines of America. A sweet looking child, a rebellious teen, a freakishly strong man. This was his life flashing by, so why the hell did that git have to be there. If he ever got out of this alive, (which he doubted) he was going to sock him. Breaking his precious Texas.

Unknown to Arthur, who was now of in his own little world Liechtenstein had stopped screaming, calmed down and explained to her brother what had happened. So at the moment, they were now both looking at Arthur who was talking to himself. Well either that or one of his imaginary friends. Clearing his throat Vash tried to catch his guest attention.

Jerking his head in the direction of the sound Arthur found an embarrassed Liechtenstein looking in every direction except his, and also what seemed like a slightly less pissed of Vash. Bowing his head in an apologetic gesture he looked up to see their retreating frames, letting him have some privacy.

Lifting himself of the bed to get dressed he wondered how he could make up for this. Vash had every right to be ticked off. Hearing soft giggles he looked up to see that his three fairy friends had followed him here. He wasn't so sure he was grateful for that. Sure he had ignored them before when they tried to warn him. But did they really need to gloat at his misery this much?

Scowling at them he tried to think of a way to fix the mess he had created. His anger with America for disturbing, what he thought was his last moment, and the irritation he feel for the fairies were soon forgotten. Moving down the stairs to the dining room, he found the two siblings enjoying breakfast.

"I'm terribly sorry for this morning; it was thoughtless of me to go to sleep like that."

Before Vash could open his mouth to lecture him on decent manners Liechtenstein spoke up.

"No it was entirely my fault. I shouldn't have walked in to your bedroom like that. I was unaware that it was occupied. Big brother just explained everything to me. You must have been terrible tired and you did not have anything to change into. If you'd like I can lend you something I made myself, it would be my way of apologizing to you."

Completely dumbfounded England's mouth just hanged open. He knew that she was nice, but this was just ridicules. Nodding his head in acceptance to the offer. A small smile spread on the girls lips. Getting up and offering him her chair she went away in search for something suitable. Leaving Switzerland and England with an awkward silence. Shifting slightly in his chair he was about to apologies again. Vash however beat him to it.

"I hope that the misunderstanding this morning didn't cause any inconvenience for you. Don't get me wrong it's not like I care. But seeing as you are paying while you are here I… just… well Liechtenstein was worried that's all."

That was the closest thing you would ever get for an apology from the Swizz.

"Ahh no it is quite all right. Not that I care about what you think or anything, it's just more convenient for me to stay here that's all."

The closest thing you would ever get for, thanks for letting me stay here and it really was my fault from England. Above their heads the three glowing blobs of pink were giggling again. Really those two were a lot alike.

Enjoying their breakfast in a comfortable silence, they were just about done when they heard a load and not completely unfamiliar voice.

"**ARTHUR ARE YOU HERE!**"

Choking on his tea, no way the bloody fool actually followed him here. How the hell did he find him? No wait, that's impossible he didn't know that he was here. He probably went around to every nation's house looking for him.

If he hid somewhere and stayed silent, Alfred could just disappear. Ducking down under the table praying that America would remain the same brainless idiot Arthur knew he was. Hoping against all odds, that he would just move along if he didn't answer. Unfortunately for Arthur Alfred wasn't alone.

"_Chéri _are you here, this is the second time that you run away. Don't worry I will protect you from this rude idiot."

"Hey you are the one he is running from, remember it's you that he hates."

"Ahh but hate is just a stronger form of expressing love my uneducated friend."

"No hate is just a stronger form of expressing dislike dumbass"

Without thinking, acting on reflex Arthur stood up shouting.

"Will you two shut the hell up, I'm trying to get away from both of you!"

Clapping his hands in front of his mouth, praying that they hadn't heard anything. But alas the damage was already done. Not a second later two pair of hands were banging on Vash front door.

"Let me in, I need to talk to Arthur."

"No don't let that buffoon in, he is harassing my love."

"What the hell are you talking about; you were the one who was molesting him in the hallway last night."

"I was merely expressing my love, and if you are so eager to point fingers, mind explaining to me what you think you were doing to **my**_** Angleterre**_this morning."

Arthur couldn't quite decide if he was going to die from embarrassment or by the hands of Vash. Who did not seemed to appreciate having two nations banging on his door. While screaming for the world to hear what the other had done to Arthur.

Well one thing was clear; if he was going to die, he was going to drag those two with him. Leaving the dining room he went to open the front door and strangle them. However he did not think that they both were leaning against it. So when he unlocked it, it flung open with America and France toppling inside, crashing into him.

Lying on the floor, limbs entangled with Francis and Alfred he swore he would get his revenge. Hearing grunts and confused mumbling above him he wondered if he could sneak away without them noticing him. Unfortunately they both recognized the man they were lying on. He was sure their happy shouts could be heard all around the globe.

Hearing the click that indicates a loaded gun, the three blond heads on the floor looked up to see Switzerland pointing a gun at them. Oh yeah this time he really was going to die, how does that saying go third times the charm. Oh how he hoped not.

A soft feminine voice came from the dining room.

"England I found something that I think will look nice on you."

In the door opening stood Liechtenstein holding what looked like a pink frilly knee length nightgown.

"You can wear this to bed so that you don't have to sleep"

A blush spread on her cheeks.

"Naked again."

Feeling something poking against his lower back and seeing small droplets of blood fall from Alfred and Francis noses. He added them both together, and came to a horrifying realization. Pushing the two perverts of him. Trying to figure of how much Vash was going to charge him for this.

And above his head three little pink blobs were now laughing outright at his misfortune. He really had to have a talk with them about mocking others when this was over.

Okay finally finished. You know you would think I'd update faster and so, because I'm still looking for a job and don't really do anything productive during the days. But somehow I still manage to sit around looking at the next chapter. I'm kind of lazy and a perfectionist, not a good combo. Still not satisfied with this, probably have some errors in it but this is like 24 time I read threw it so take it or leave it. Oh and you might have noticed but if you didn't. From the votes it looks like it's going to be an UsxUk pairing. So I'm going to write in that direction. But for those who like FrxUk don't worry there will be plenty more of that. Have to admit I'm more of an FrxUk fan; I just love how dysfunctional they are. Oh and one more thing, if you have any good ideas on how you would like to harass/molest or just generally piss Iggy of let me know. Oh and concerning the last episode. Was I right or what when it came to Iggy's girly scream of terror. Think I woke my friend up by rooting for France to strip him.


	8. Chapter 8

Acck so yeah I'm a horrible horrible person. Well you see there is a good reason for not updating for almost a year. First school sort of got to me and then I kind of forgot that this story existed, eh eh oops. Well then some kind people reviewed it and I was reminded of it, but by then I had sort of fell out from the fandom. But I'm back now. So without further ado the next part of magic 101

* * *

It had been a mistake to take the Englishman in. Vash had known this from the beginning. It had started with the wish for blowing his brains out when he found him in front of his house, it had strengthen with the ominous feeling he had when he saw the others relieved face when he agreed to the proposition. It had almost reached its limit when he found his sisters shocked form earlier this morning. And by now it was definitely past it and any other restriction he might have.

He could barely stand America and France during the meetings, much less in his own house. Watching the disturbing image of them having a tug war with England between them he almost felt sorry for the poor bastard. The keyword being almost. Because after all it was his fault that he now had two loudmouthed idiots screaming in his hallway.

After ushering his sister out of the room he took a deep breath to calm himself down. Trying his hardest not to give in to temptation and reaching for the gun inside his jacket.

"Would the two newcomers explain themselves!"

Still tugging at England while trying to shout down each other they simply ignored him. Like England Switzerland could feel a vane in his forehead starting to throb. Hand twitching he reminded himself that if he got to violent he would be the initiating part and therefore breaking his vow of neutrally.

Seeing France waking America over the head with his precious Monet throwing England over his shoulder and making a mad dash for the door, he wondered if it was worth it. Seeing America throw his equally valuable Ming vase at France making him trip and land on top of England he decided that it was. Quickly before they had time to destroy more of his valuable artifacts, he fired a warning shot in the air before pointing his gun towards the now silent trio.

"Explanation Now!"

As on a queue they all started to talk at the same time. Sighting he fired on more time to shut them up.

"One at a time"

Pointing to America indicating for him to start.

"Well you know, I went looking for Arty because he suddenly went missing. And I had to get to him before the slimy frog. Otherwise he would be molesting him and trying god knows what. And as a hero it is my responsibility to make sure my lover is safe."

Feeling that the Americans last statement would cause uproar he waved his gun to make sure that the others would get it.

"Moving on, France your turn"

"Well I had to come here since _mon chéri_ disappeared. I had to find him before this sad excuse of a cowboy decided to burn mark him or something equally vulgar."

Earning himself a growl from America and a horrified shudder from England. Continuing like he hadn't noticed anything but squeezing England's hand reassuring while giving him a wink

"So I had to rescue him even if I had to sacrifice my own life"

"Wouldn't mind if you did just that you bloody frog" came a mumble from the Englishman. Followed by a snicker from America.

Seeing how another argument was coming he waved his gun effectively gaining their attention once again.

"You two are breaking an entry in my house. England and I made a deal so he is permitted to stay, but if you two are not out when I have counted to three I will use this"

Waving the gun in their direction once more. Apparently that was a bad decision on his part.

Both of them started arguing loudly in their own defense. Trying to justify their desire to drag the poor Englishman up to one of his bedrooms and ravage him for the remaining day. Deciding that he had no interest in hearing the quite elaborated plans they both had prepared for, the now very pale man sitting on his floor he started to fire some bullets in their general direction to get them out. Whoever said that violence doesn't solve any problems hadn't tried using a loaded gun before. The two love struck nation made their way to his door while loudly declaring that they would not give up their quest to save the fair princess from the gun wilding dragon.

After a moment of very uncomfortable silence England spoke up.

"I will pay for the damage they caused"

"Yes you will" was the simple reply

"Is, is it still okay for me to stay here?"

Knowing that it was a futile even before the request left his mouth. Hanging his head wondering how he would survive the next part of the week without "becoming one whit Russia".

"I never go back on my word"

Snapping his head up he stared at the other, disbelief clear in his eyes. Who knew that the Swiss had such a kind and forgiving heart? As if he knew what Arthur was thinking he turned around, his cheek audibly red. Waving his gun again grumbling something about free food and moving target practice. Deciding to ignore the last part England felt himself relax somewhat.

And peering down at him from above his head were three giggling pink blobs of light. This was the most fun either of them has had for a long time. Plotting between themselves trying to find new ways to make the whole matter more entertaining.

* * *

Right it's kind of short and involves a lot of gun wielding, gun pointing and firing of said gun. The poor thing probably needs a vacation by now. Give me time and I will try to get back some of the humor I obviously lost, but it' hard just jumping in to my own story like this again. Right so don't forget to vote for your favorite pairing. Right now USUK is in the lead and I was thinking that it's about time to start setting up the storyline to get a pair out of this. So the more vote one pair get the more scenes they will have. And also since I'm a firm believer that crack is good for you I was thinking about writing a couple short one shots for some crack pairings, so give me your best one, or the one you would like to see most. And by crack I mean crack, like NorwayxChina or HanatamagoXNetherlands.


	9. Chapter 9

Right so for you who haven't already noticed it I've posted an alternative ending to the whole story. It's called "Magic 101 alternative ending" creative right. So now that I have shamelessly pimped myself here is the new part.

* * *

LOL just kidding here is the part for those of you who don't read the author notes and therefore don't know about the voting thingy that's going on. I thought it would be fun to let you guys decide who would win the hand of the fair maiden, aka the grumpy Englishman. So you can vote on either America or France and right now UsxUk is in the lead. And yeah I love Edith Piaf, okay that's all.

Later that night when Arthur was getting ready for bed he had an ominous feeling. That may or may not be due to his new pink fluffy nightshirt that Liechtenstein had lent him (He refused to admit that it was a gown). The "shirt" was supposed to be knee long, but it ended somewhere mid thigh since he was taller than Switzerland. Who apparently had done the modeling for the creation. He would have laughed at the mental image, if Vash hadn't been present at that time. So he had settled for a sound somewhere between a snort, a giggle and a cough. The other two didn't show any signs of noticing his thoughts, although Switzerland's cheek had grown a tiny bit pink.

Standing in his bedroom he looked down at the …. thing that was lying on his bed. He would have preferred to sleep naked, or in well, anything else. But in his haste to get somewhere safe he had not brought that anything else with him. And there was no chance in the seven levels of hell he was going to leave this place. The other option was to ask if he could borrow something normal. But that meant declining Liechtenstein's offer. And doing so would hurt her feelings, and royally piss of her brother whom he was relying on. And besides she was a sweet girl and he didn't want to hurt her. Witch brought him back to staring at the only option left. He once more considered sleeping naked and just wake up earlier than the other two. However there was still a small chance that they would beat him. And he had no desire to relieve this morning's advents. So he decided to just take the bull by the horns and get it over with. It was not like anyone would see him in this thing anyway, right?

Looking himself in the mirror he saw what resembled some sort of gender confused elf. He was sporting the ultimate look for a show transvestite. Obviously male, but wearing something so utterly cute fluffy and pink. He doubted that even Poland would want to be seen in this thing. Yes this look was definitely the show drags wet dream. Heaving a large sight, oh well the dress (after seeing it on, he gave up his attempt at trying to convince himself that it was a nightshirt) was only going to be used at night and it was oddly comfortable being so… liberated down there. Crawling in to a very cozy bed he decided that it could be a lot worse. He sort of looked forward to seeing the sun rise above the mountains. After a short time he started to doze off. The warmth beneath the cover, the soft pillows, the yellow moonlight that crept in through the glass window and the gentle sound of the wind outside mixed with the soft tones of an instrument. This was defiantly not so, **and wait what**. Since when had Switzerland's nature a natural accompaniment of what seemed to be violin tones. Rubbing his tired eyes, he must be imagining things. Yes that's all. Hearing little giggles over at his nightstand he turned his head to see the pink blobs giggling madly. The ominous feeling suddenly came back threefold. Getting out of bed, sneaking up to the window he listened carefully. Oh yes there was music, and it was accompanied by what he recognized as _L`Hymne à l'amour_. He wasn't sure what was worse; the fact that there was now a lovesick Frenchman serenading him outside his window, or the fact that he was doing a damn good job. He hated to admit it, but France had a good voice. And the git was aware of it. Looking around him in search for something that could be used as a projectile weapon, idly wondering if the spell had caused some sort of brain damage that devoided the inflected one from feeling any sort of danger. Picking up one of his shoes, first thing tomorrow he was going to ask Switzerland if it was possible for him to borrow a gun, or at least a slingshot.

Standing by the windows listening to the voice and tones that were floating in to his bedroom. Taking a deep breath mentally preparing himself. It's not that he had any qualm about doing something that hopefully would hurt France. After all that had been one of his favorite pastimes before he fully embraced the roll of a gentleman. No it was just that he didn't want to have to deal with the love struck Frenchman. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he was enjoying being serenaded, or that the music was good. Slowly breathing out he opened the window and stepped out on the small balcony, so that he could as kind as possible tell France to shut the hell up and sod off before he shoved that bloody violin down his throat. But before he had time to do either, his lungs seemed to deflate and the words got stuck in his throat.

He knew that France considered himself the country of love and romance. He had always thought that it was just an excuse to act like a flirt and go around groping as many nations as possible. However there might have been something in what he said. Outside his window was a sharply dressed Frenchman playing the violin while softly singing love songs. Surrounding him were dozen of long wax candles and by each stood a red rose entwined with an easter daisy, (meaning I will always love you, my headcanon says that England is fluent in the flower language.) The whole scene was bathing in the soft light from the moon and the gentle breeze swept by making Francis hair flutter lightly along with a few stray flower petals. The whole thing looked like it could be a painting. He doubted that even America's moviemakers could pull off anything like this. Sure the whole thing was somewhat cliché, but it was stunning enough for him to ignore that. The git probably knew this as well.

For a second he wondered if perhaps he was in the wrong last night. If he did kiss the damn frog would it turn out to be a prince? Maybe he should just give it a try? He was snapped out of his thoughts when the music suddenly stopped.

- _Mon amour_ I told you I would be back to save you from the dragon. And you look lovelier than ever, the way the moon shines on you, the way your hair is getting ruffled by the wind, the soft blush on your cheek. Your slender form, your green eyes that drowns me every time I look in too them. How I long to hold you in my arms, kiss your sorrows away, stroke you till you have no more worries.

The whole thing would have been sweet and romantic. If he had not started panting and those infamous cat ears had started to grow out when he got to the part about kissing. Whatever curiosity that had inclined him to go along with the Frenchman flatly died. Instead the urge to throw his shoe at the now hard panting idiot, who was completely caught up in his own dirt fantasies grew tremendously. A clean hit to the Frenchman's face later it seemed like the both of them had somewhat snapped out of their fantasies and were now looking at each other. Well England was glaring and France was oogling him.

As the silent stretched on England started to grow anxious, what the hell was the frog looking so intently at anyway? Normally he would have said something by now. Seeing that the flush was still intact and that he still was panting, albeit not as hard as before but still. England started to squirm under that intense stare. It made him uncomfortable. Not that he would ever admit it, nor would he back down. He was not going to let France defeat him dammit.

Noticing the violent rustling of some nearby bushes, he snapped his attention to the left of the Frenchman. Hearing someone curse loudly he prayed that it was not who he thought it was. Out of the now abused bushes (the gardener in him winced) came a stumbling American. If there was a god in this world he must like poking fun at England just as much as the three glowing blobs behind him. They weren't even giggling anymore but straight out laughing at him, almost dying from not being able to breathe. He hoped they choked those little bastards. Hearing muffled shouts his attention was brought back to the two men that were arguing once again.

- You Bastard! You called the police on me so that you could get here before me

- Well I believe the idiom goes all is fair in love and war

- To bad that you suck at both those things

- Well normally I prefer to receive it but I don't think I would mind doing that for England, can't you just see his cute little face all scrunched up in…..

Being interrupted when once again a shoe connected with his head for the second time in less than ten minutes it was never revealed what England's face was going to be scrunched up in (Nicely covering my own incapacity to write anything smuttier. Don't blame me, my dog is sitting right here giving me a dirty look, I swear he knows what I was thinking of).

Immediately America's attention was brought to the person who beat him to beating France. Mentally preparing himself for whatever stupid love declaration the still conscious person would shout. Closing his eyes, praying once again, hoping against all odds that America would do it somewhat gracefully. Meaning not waking up the rest of Switzerland's people while he was at it. However nothing happened, slowly opening his eyes he saw that Alfred had the same stupid look on his face as France had when he was looking at him earlier. With blood down his nose, flushed cheeks and a light panting to go with it. However unlike France, America was not quiet about it.

- England are you wearing what I think you are

Furrowing his browns together in confusion, looking down he saw the….. thing. Squeaking he tried to cover himself best he could. The light pink his cheeks had been stained with had now overtaken his whole face, and it was not pink anymore but scarlet red. Shit what the hell was wrong with him. How could he have forgotten he was wearing a damn dress? Oh bugger it was all that damn Frenchman's fault. He had to go and sing good enough so that England forgot the pink nightmare. Shucking his alarm clock at the body that was still lying face down in the grass. Once again a clean hit, this time right under his shoulderblade. America wasn't exactly sure why England was throwing things at France, but he didn't mind it one bit. However he was a bit disturbed by the fact that his "damsel in distress" wasn't paying any attention to him, and if you were judging from the frighteningly accurate aim didn't look like he needed someone to protect him as much as America first thought. Oh well that too was quite charming. But not paying attention to him was not.

Making his way over to the balcony, dodging a flying fruit bowl he made sure to move carefully so not awake the trigger happy nation that was keeping England captured. Starting to climb up the wall like the heroes did in movies. He slowly closed the distance between him and his love. Just beneath England's direct vision he made a quick dash leaning in over the balcony railing grabbing the thin wrist that was in the process of throwing something at his fallen opponent.

And there he was, as beautiful as he always had been. Looking like something out of those fairytale he used to tell to him when he was a child. A slender form, long legs, alabaster skin slightly ruffled sand colored hair, rosy lips and those wonderful forest green eyes, slight widened in surprise over his sudden presence. (Warning America's vision might slightly deter from real life) His attention must have been fully on the Frenchman. Feeling his patience grow thin. What the hell was so interesting about that guy anyway? Lashing himself forward he tried to capture the others lips with his own. Trying being the keyword. **Obviously** misinterpreting the fast movement as an attack England had wacked him over the head with his free hand. Surprised he lost his balance falling backwards he grabbed the first thing he could reach. England's other hand, when had that got there?

England had at the sight of America falling toward the ground reacted without even realizing it and reached out his hand trying to catch him. Slightly surprised at his own action, he quickly shook it off as a simple gentlemanly gesture. Even though there was a small part of his head and a very well hidden spot in his hearth that said otherwise. He helped the idiot to steady himself against the wall. Slowly backing away so that he wouldn't be caught by those big hands once again. Staring in to ocean blue eyes, he wondered if it was possible to drown in them. Horrified at his own thoughts, this was his little brother for god's sake. Smacking his head to will the images away. But once again Americas hand caught his own. It seemed like he hadn't put enough distance between them. Oh this was bad, really bad

-Don't hurt yourself. And don't do that again!

- Erhm whaa? Do what?

- You run away, hide, and ignore your feelings. You know that's the problem with you England.

Those ocean blue eyes had so much warmth in them, so many feelings. Gulping slightly, this was a road he did not want to start on. America was his precious little brother. That's until he, according to England turned his back on him and declared independence. However he was still the small boy that he had raised, when had he gotten this big? As if he had read his mind, a small and almost depressed smile ghosted over the Americans face. Leaning forward burrowing his head in Arthurs neck

- When will you get it? Despite all those books you read you can be surprisingly dense sometimes. England I'm not your little brother, I am….

- An insensitive, vile food creating, buffoon who have a knack of getting in between two lovers.

Moment broken. It seemed that France had survived the onslaught of having various things thrown at him. While America and England had been having their little chat he had snuck up behind America. Lashing on to his legs and starting to pull the other down. America was forced to let go of England's hand so he wouldn't drag him down as well. In the last second he managed to get a hold of the balcony railing. Another shouting match between the two started. Leaving England to stumble back against a wall.

These sorts of things were not good for his hearth. For the second time in two days, had he felt something you should not feel towards your brother and two times had he wanted to kiss a frog. From being two annoyances to becoming two people he felt strangely attracted to. If this continued he might actually give in to one of them. He shuddered at the thought, from horror and something he would not admit. He would have to find a way to remind himself that it would be insane to have those sorts of feelings towards either of them. However that would have to wait, as it was right now he would have to figure out how to deal with this kind of situation. Hearing a door slam behind him he saw a tired and pissed of Swiss making his way towards them in a rapid pace. Well would you look at that, it seems like he didn't have to figure it out after all.

Firing a warning shoot, alerting the two intruders of his presence once again. Their heads snapped up, staring at the other blond nation on the balcony with their mouths open. But before Switzerland had the time to tell them to get the hell out of his yard before he blew them to pieces. America said something that convinced England that he was right when he thought that the spell caused some sort of brain damage that devoided the inflected one from feeling any sort of danger.

- You do know that England pull off that look way better than you right?

While Francis and Alfred were running for their life he went back in to his room, closed his windows and crawled in to bed. Deciding that tomorrow he would try to figure out some way to remind himself why the two morons were dumbasses and why it was a bad idea to get involved with them on anything other than a professional level. Hearing several gunshots being fired he idly wondered if there would be enough left of said dumbasses to worry about before drifting in to a deep sleep.

* * *

(_Read Eyeshield 21_) This one is a bit late, I was going to updates sooner but suddenly a lot of people at my work got sick and I had to do so much overtime plus I had this huge history test. I just couldn't find the time to work on this as well. Good news I passed the test with flying colour thanks to all the Hetalia related images that keep popping up when I read the questions. Bad news I realized that I'm at the point of associating everything I see in my daily life with Hetalia, Gintama and Eyeshield 21. I think I'm broken, and apparently so do my family. Oh and for those of you who don't know what Eyeshield 21 is, I order you to read or watch it. I have already said this once and I will say it again. I have never, and will never fangirl over anyone or anything as much as I'm fangirling over Hiruma (and Agon, I do love socially dysfunctional guys OTL) and that includes Hetalia. Go my minions go I command thee.


	10. Pathetic excuse

Hi I'm so sorry for not updating since like back in September m(_ _)m. It's just hard to find time in-between full time studies at the university, a part time job, keeping what little social life I still have left and getting more than 5 hours sleep at night. However I know how extremely irritating it is not being able to read the conclusion of the fics you like (having kind of high thoughts about myself right now (^3^)/) so I will cut down on sleep and try to finish it as soon as possible (=_=). As a matter of fact tomorrow I will update it properly with a new chapter d=(^o^)=b.


End file.
